I have to admit—I was a bit of a self-help junkie, a spiritual seeker, a church hopper if you will. I purchased every self-help book and attended every seminar and workshop I could find. I tried them all on—I was hungry for more.
I remember sitting on the airplane on my way to attend a seminar in California. I had managed to squeeze my then 400-pound self into the tiny airplane seat. I was carefully opening my tiny package of peanuts, and thinking, “This is it. This is the moment that’s going to help turn my life around.”
I got to the conference, they were saying all the right things, the message was resonating with me, the people looked… well, happy. It ended up that they were selling CDs for $2,000—a “one day only deal.” They offered payment plan options of course.
As I was standing there holding the perfectly packaged set of CD’s something inside of me said, “You already know this.” I trusted my gut, and slowly backed away from the merchandise table.
I realized that I was trying to find something to verify or confirm what I already know.
And I think a lot of us have found ourselves in one situation or another where we’re trying to validate our truth—which is a vulnerable place to be.
From all of my lessons in searching, there is one thing I do know about positive thinking: I am positively the cause and effect of my entire life.
I am positively the shit in my life.
I am positively the God in my life.
I am positively the person who is the manifestor based on my words, thoughts, feelings, emotions and actions.
So, what does that mean? It means I have some work to do.
It means I am the one in the driver’s seat. I am the one who has the choice in how I desire to feel about my life. I am the one who can shift it, and do something about whatever boat I have found myself in.
It means I have to stop searching outside of myself and going after some $2,000 CD set that I probably wouldn’t listen to anyway. (I met someone who purchased the set and was later pissed she dropped the money on it—she now attends my weekly spiritual development classes).
There are a lot of people who are going to try to sell you a lot of stuff—and my one recommendation when you’re trying to sift through all the noise:
Make sure there’s a body at the end of that road that you can trust, someone to help you through it, someone to really help guide you.
“The secret is… Just be positive.” Uhm… okay. Yes, that’s great, But, how realistic is this? You gotta give me more than just that.
What if you’re riddled with fear? Or if you have a loved one with cancer? What if you’re dealing with not being able to pay bills? What if you’re dealing with the reality of aging, or struggling to fit in your “skinny” jeans?
I believe we’re spiritual beings, navigating real life human problems.
We’re searching for the magic pill—but I’m here to tell you that there is no magic pill.
You’re the one who can make your life positive or negative, and it’s an ongoing effort.
I believe there is a deeply seeded positivity ingrained in all of us, and I also believe there’s the opposite negative energy that lies within us too—lying dormant and waiting for something to happen. It’s like an evil troll waiting under the bridge for a bill collector call, a difficult conversation to come up, an emotional eruption.
The secret is: if you find that part of yourself triggered, that part that says, “it’s their fault” or “I just can’t do this.” Don’t be in that place alone. Find people to help get you out of it.
This is where your journey can really start to transform.
The truth is: You are not an island.
Do you live on a remote island with no human contact or wifi? Probably not.
We have neighbors, co-workers, children, friends, doctors. We’ve got people. You might even have a pet to snuggle up to.
As much as we’d like to be up in our castle tower, with a giant mote surrounding it- we live in a community of people. We exist together, and I believe our journey is not only about connecting the dots within ourselves. We are the dots that need to connect with one another.
So, find your tribe, your soul cluster, your community of like-minded people that lift you up. The only island in your life should be the one you’re visiting with these awesome people. I have found my family of choice, and they have been the key to navigating the darkness and staying positive in my life.
Now more than ever, I believe we need to lead with love, and connect with one another.
As many of you know, I’ve always dreamt of creating a place for us to genuinely connect, and to receive support. And that’s exactly what we’re working on in my new monthly membership. I’ll be there to help answer your questions, share stories, offer support and cultivate community. I’m excited to be able to share it soon.
When things get tough, lean into your truth and your tribe. Look for the tiny victories. They will guide you.
Love + Light,
Soulaire
Listen to this new song from Christina Perri – Tiny Victories
